Thursday, 24 January 2013

The Crazy Homeless Zoo

     Being a homeless person is a hard thing. Sleeping in doorways is even harder. I had this dream two nights ago as I slept in a doorway on Air Street Brighton.
     I along with many of my homeless mates where invited to The Crazy Zoo. It was a working day trip arranged by myself for some unknown reason.
     The sun was shining with a bright blue sky. The trip down on the minibus was brilliant. Everyone was on good terms and really excited to go here.
     When we got there we had to have a brief with the owners and told not to be scared for nothing will harm us. We knew that animals can hurt sometimes but was not prepared for what we where going to see.
      I walked in with loads of other homeless people from Brighton. We where told to pick up wheel barrows, shovels, pitch forks etc. I was told to take notes on what was happening which I agreed.
      While walking through the yard a big massive snake wriggled up in front of me. He raised himself up high and went for my face stopping short as it opened its mouth letting out a huge screech. I jumped back nearly having a heart attack. Everyone laughed and a few seconds later I laughed also. I must admit I nearly shit myself.
      A few hours later Big Bill was wheeling his wheel barrow across the yard full of manure. The manure raised up in his face and said. "Dam it man can you not do anything right. No much wonder adults are so useless". Bill dropped the wheel barrow instantly and stepped back. I never seen such a big man as scared as he was. What a freaky thing to happen yet I must admit even I had to laugh at this.
      This was absolutely so  crazy to see yet funny as well. Jammie was there also acting the full as usual, trying to be the big man. He was given a pitch fork to go and rotate some soil to plant potatoes and some vegetables. As he was walking to the location his pitch fork kicked him in the shin and ran off on its own. "What the fuck". Jammie shouted. "Hahahaha now whos a fool you little shit catch me if you can turnip head". Shouted the pitch fork in a crazy way sticking his tongue out. "See when I get you, you little shit I will break you in two". Jammie boasted as he chased the pitch fork all over the place.
     What a dream I was having. Yet I decided to hide away for a few moments behind a lorry. Someones legs where showing wearing a really short skirt with no underwear. "Excuse me sweetie you asleep". I asked polightly looking striaght up her skirt. The woman slid out from under the lorry and said no. Her eyes where on her arm and her mouth was her armpit. "Would you like a big kiss honey". She answered back launching herself at me  and with that a gust of wind blew of my sleeping bag wakening me up on Air Street Brighton.
     This was one of the most bazzare dreams I have ever had and still do not really know what it was about.

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